Phillies Shaping Into Bonafide Suitor

At least 6 Mariners are on the trading block now that our boys of very early spring have caused our front office to reach the inevitable realization that we will not be competing for a World Series championship (despite all of our hopes and prayers), says SI.com's prolofic baseball writer Jon Heyman.

Heyman says underachieving Canadian mercenary Erik Bedard will be the top target for a handful of clubs, with the Phillies shooting up the list of possible suitors after finding out that Brett Meyers may miss the rest of the season.

Others mentioned were the usual suspects: Adrian Beltre, Jarrod Washburn, Yuniesky Betancourt, Miggy Batista and Russell "the Muscle" Branyan.

Phillies will also be targeting the ultra-talented Jake Peavy. But Peavy already turned down a trade to the White Sox and may not be willing to accept a trade to any team except the water-treading Cubs who still insanely harbor World Series aspirations despite being only a couple of games better than the M's. This leaves Bedard as the Phillies number one option.

And we all know how Bedard feels about being in Philly over Seattle. Jerk.

I'm not sure who the Phillies have on the farm, but I think we should start scouring it for new Mariners.