Monday Morning Musings, May 11

The Muse Man spent most of Sunday drinking, hoping the M's would win (but Bedard wouldn't; he was on an opponent's fantasy squad), getting sunburned in several odd places (the inner knee is quite painful), watching a cheap comedy show in Brooklyn (saw the Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac trying out some new material and a duo called the "Boston Boys," one of whom wasn't from Boston, and that was their whole schtick) and then finally watching Glen "Big Baby" Davis sink the Magic on a last-second 17-footer from the corner. Dude looked like a swollen, gravity-bound Keith Smart.

Anyway, like most people on Mondays, I'm starting out the work week exhausted. This must be why our economy stinks and America is fat -- we spend our Sundays drinking, getting sunburned and watching sports. But hey, at least we enjoy ourselves.

Here's what I'm thinking this morning:

-The Celtics-Magic (or as I like to call it, Ray vs. Rashard) and Rockets-Lakers (A Bunch of Scrappy Dudes vs. Bitch-ass Kobe) are both going 7 games. I'm going with the Cs because of experience and because their best player is now a guy named Big Baby. And I'm picking the Rockets, just because I hate Kobe. And Sasha Vujacic. And Jordan Farmar, Luke Walton and Pau Gasol's gaping mouth. And I think Phil Jackson is a self-absorbed jerk who wrongly thinks he's the god-damn Buddha or something. Oh, and all Laker fans are dicks.

But it won't matter. In the end, the Lebrons will win the championship.

Funny, I talked to a Knicks fan the other day (and I'm 98% sure this is how all Knicks fans are thinking right now) who told me he really hopes the Cavs win the title so Lebron and Cavs fans won't feel so bad when he signs with the Knicks after the 2010 season. It's going to happen. Then the NBA will move the Cavs to Seattle. The NBA, where fan suicide happens.

-The Muser is admittedly a glass half-full kind of guy. Which is I have no problem with the M's being .500, 16-16, at this point in the season and still hold on to hope that we can hang around in the West. If anybody had told me in March that the M's would be .500 through mid-May, I'd take it and be happy.

-Positive signs from this weekend: Beltre, Junior and Lopez all starting to swing the bat better. Closer Brandon Morrow is back, albeit a little shaky in his first action.

-Signs of pending doom: Bedard went less than 5 innings. Yuni still swings at every pitch he sees. Branyan looking much more like the player no one was willing to play every day for the first 12 years of his career. Felix hitting the skids. I could go on, but want to continue keeping up the illusion that there's hope is still alive.

-You heard it here first: The Seahawks should sign Michael Vick and make him our starting running back. I will flesh this out later, but think about for a minute. The Hawks need a RB. Vick needs a job. He's probably all buffed up from jailhouse workouts. Prior to incarceration, he was unquestionably the most dynamic runner in the NFL since Barry Sanders. He needs a position switch: his potential as a championship QB was in question even before going to prison. Mora knows Vick than any coach outside of Frank Beamer. Seattle's a very forgiving town. Imagine possibilities.